Who wants to rewatch buffy, x files, and trollhunters with me
Is he being weird? Should I worry? Should I tell someone? He’s always kinda weird, right? Is he extra weird today? He’s all over the place. Would he be trying to work if he’s using? Why do I feel guilty? Should I tell someone? What do I do? How can I tell? I couldn’t even tell when he was living here. How should I be able to tell now? What do I know? I’ve been in the dark, before, so many times. I’ve even loved the dark I was in too. I don’t love it anymore. Not when it comes to you anymore. But you’re there again. Where you can “get high and jerk off all night” like she screamed when she kicked you out. I somehow wish you were still here, though. I hated when you were here, but I missed when you left. I wasn’t used to having you back and didn’t like it until I had it. I never realized how badly the abandonment affected me before then. And I was the reason you got kicked out, too. I said something about using and it all hit the fan. Mom was upset and I had to open my big mouth. I wish I could still ignore. I wish I could still be a kid about it. Please, dad. Please get better before you die from it all. Please get better before you die in general. Just so you don’t die old and addicted and pathetic. I don’t think you’ve been well lately, either. I’ve been trying to ignore it. So much has been going on at work that I don’t even know my left from right..how am I supposed to know if I’m right? How do I know it’ll you’re right? Please. I’ll give you some of my pay. Please. Who am I kidding? You were practicing and still doing it anyway. Money doesn’t matter. Treating my rotting ass to chipotle like you were fine. Saying our family was making money so it was okay. Lies. It’s always lies. Nothing ever hurt me more than lies. It’s what I always told people. But you’re just a calm bag of sewage and lies before the storm hits us with all of it. Unrelenting. Fucking hitting us with waves of your sewage for years. So why do I want to believe so badly? So why do I want you love me more than all of that so badly? What changed? I guess I’m different. I guess you’re worse too. I must’ve always thought it would get better, but it never did. It just gets worse and worse. Who would’ve thought our family would be like this? Who would’ve thought you would hurt her so badly? At that time, there was no way she could’ve known better. Poor mom. Poor you. Poor them. I’m getting what I deserve, though. I would’ve been better off…
I can make you laugh and cum and I’m a good listener
(via theroyaltenenblarghs)
Fuuuuck dude the faeries hollowed me out and are using me as a puppet to go buy cigarettes
(via 7pmest)
